A Plea to Derek Waters

Dear Mr. Waters, 

My name is Jenn Crumly and I love Drunk History.  I love everything about the show...from the drunk, to the history.  You see, growing up in Orange County California, my exposure to history though my education in High School and Jr. High was understandably whitewashed.  It was SO whitewashed that the books we used really described slavery as more, oh, servants who were allowed to live (with their families!) on big beautiful plantations.  

It was not until college that the truth about American history was finally revealed (well, that and all the other shit I was lied to about in high school...like my guidance counselor saying I was totally gonna be a dancing star...liar).  Back to my plea...Your show makes history come alive and the historical figure I have planned will break records.  It might even get you an Emmy.

Pretty much the whole point of my writing, the culmination of my work has lead me to this zenith, the epicenter of work, to tell a tale of history while blasted out of my fucking mind. (As you will note, my first ever post on this site was about you Click Here For Proof)

This fabulous idea I have for the next Drunk History will "hopefully" get you more viewers and I SO badly want to be the drunk/genius/imbecile regaling you with the truth.  The truth about lawyers, the ADA, and the shit we had to go through to get equal treatment.  I am neither famous, nor important, but I am one helluva a story teller and I have been told that I am quite hilarious.  Please, please, please give me this opportunity. Please?

Forever In Adoration, 

Jenn Crumly - xoxo



It's My Birthday Today

Yesterday I had a conversation with the ol' ball and chain....this is how it went:

Me: Do you know how old I’ll be turning tomorrow?
Him: Um…38?
Me: Wow, no....wow....really?  That was a two carat mistake.
Him: Too carrot?
Me: T-W-O-C-A-R-A-T, now go to Harry Winston dot com and buy me an apology!

This should do nicely as an "I'm sorry Jenn, you are not that old."

Via: Harry Winston