One of my favorite movies as a little girl was Nadia. A made-for-TV-movie (as most of my favorites are, hello Lifetime!) about the life of the legendary gymnast Nadia Comaneci. Oh, I wore out the tape on that VHS.
<side note: for all you millennials, a VHS is a Video Home System, created by JVC. VHS is the type of media that preceded DVD’s and Digital shit. You don’t know the exquisite pain of waiting for a two hour movie to rewind on a VHS cassette rewinder shaped as a car that your parents bought because they didn’t want you using the VCR to rewind whole movies because you might BREAK THE MACHINE JENN! WE’RE NOT MADE OF MONEY!! USE THE CAR CASSETTE REWINDER! Sorry…small tangent…moving on>
Anyways..that movie was the movie that I watched incessantly. I would pretend, quite often, that I was Ms. Comaneci on the balance beam, or the uneven bars, but usually the balance beam, because, do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend to have a set of uneven bars in your living room? Yeah, it’s pretty tough. And you fall a lot. And you injure yourself quite a bit. But that is neither here nor there...again, moving on.
I remember one occasion in particular when my family and I were on our annual summer vacation to Hawaii. Stop the whining right now, that is the one thing my parents splurged on. And it wasn’t even a splurge…my Mom worked in the airline industry and we flew stand-by. Anyways, we were staying at the Royal Hawaiian hotel and I wanted, nay, needed to practice my “routine” in the pool. My Mother, God bless her, was probably knocking back a few pina coladas, oh who am I kidding, she was napping. The kids were entertaining themselves and she needed her beauty sleep.
So there I was, straddling the rope and buoy divider in the tiny circular pool, attempting the start of Nadia’s 1980 Olympic championship balance beam routine. Picture it, a little girl, with massive orange arm floaties, pretending she is a Romanian gymnast, and most likely talking to herself and giggling. #psycho
Mom was probably sitting there going, What in the hell is she doing? Hopefully she was just napping, blissfully unaware of her child's flights with lunacy.
My god I can still hear the song…
And above all else <here comes another rant> can anyone explain to me WHY the majority of the cast of Romanians speak perfect English without a hint of an eastern European accent? Even the beloved young Nadia and her Father have stereotypical Brooklyn,New York accents. God damn American motion picture company. #murica #whitepeople