No Hot Dogs Were Ever Ingested

Childhood obesity has been a topic of discussion for some years now.  This is not something I had to deal with as a child, because lo' my Mother ensured my healthy physique through my diet.

It's simple really. I was starved.


My God my Mom is hot.  Look at that woman!  But even more, check out my bowl cut. Look at it. LOOK AT IT!

God bless my Mother, but honestly, sometimes I received such little food in my lunch bags that I would stare longingly at my friends, point at some piece of their lunch, and ask them, "you gonna finish that?"

My meals were nutritious, fortified with vitamins and minerals and were large enough to feed a beetle. Maybe.  Or a June bug.

I never got any candy.  Except for on Halloween.
IF I she packed a cookie, it was just that, A cookie.
Juice boxes were 100% juice, no artificial fillers and sweeteners.

I usually only received one half of a sandwich (that's only one slice of bread for all you math majors out there). And if said sandwich actually had meat in it, there was no delicious mayonnaise in it. My Mother thought I would die of food poisoning from eating curdled mayonnaise that had been sitting UN-REFRIGERATED in my back pack all morning. Usually though, the sandwiches were just peanut butter and butter. Isn't that sandwich missing something you ask? IT IS! 


I don't even want to go into the "chip counting" that my Mother did to make sure I stayed slim. Five...only five...sometimes four if she miscounted. 

The only whole item I ever received was a whole piece of fruit. And as we all know from our days in school, you can't get shit when you try to trade your juicy Red Delicious apple for anything that came from Nabisco, Keebler, Kraft, etc.. 

And of course it also didn't help that my friend Jill ate across from me. Jill's Mom made her egg salad sandwiches at least twice a week. They were huge. Sometimes she even got TWO egg salad sandwiches, with all those mayonnaise soaked eggs dripping out between two perfect slices of Wonderbread, licking all of her fingers in anticipation of the next bite. She even got WHOLE bags of chips and sometimes TWO sandwiches with a Coke. A COKE!

I'm not bitter, no, but I'm learning to let go.  I'm letting go of all the calories I missed out on because I know my Mom just cared about my health and well being and tried ever so desperately to keep me shopping in the children's clothing section because the "juniors" clothing section was outrageously priced.   I don't even want to talk about the fact that I never once got anything from Judy's.  <eye roll>

Thanks Mom for letting me make it through my teens, twenties and most of my thirties without having a triple bypass or liposuction!